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| People eatin' outside like filthy animals |
The first place I stumbled into was one of them there fancy restaurants with tables halfway out into the street. I'm surprised anyone would sit at such a table, because it seems obvious that a car could come along and splash their food with water. Still, everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves, so I went around asking people if I could sit down with them and enjoy some of their dinner.
I can't believe how selfish people are. No one agreed to let me sit down. All I wanted was to chat with them and enjoy some of their food. Without a single exception, they told me to find my own table and buy my own food. A few of them even told me to get lost.
After I visited 20 or 30 tables, someone called the waiter over and whispered something to him. Then, the waiter went to see his manager. I saw the manager pick up the phone and make a call. I was relieved, because I thought he was going to throw me out. Instead, he hung up the phone and went about his business.
A few minutes later, though, a policeman came up to me, grabbed me by the arm and said, "All right, Mac. Let's go."
I said, "Where"?
He said, "Downtown, you'll be staying with us tonight. We'll feed you there."
Needless to say, I was delighted. Anytime you offer me a free meal, I'm going to be happy.
When we arrived downtown, they took a picture me and stamped my paw prints on a piece of paper. When I asked what they were doing, they said it was part of a publicity campaign. Then, they took me to a holding area and made me wait for several hours before they brought me dinner. After waiting half the night, all they gave me was a bologna sandwich and a cup of coffee. Can you believe the nerve?
When they released me, I called mom and told her what happened. She said she'd have a word or two with dad, and that they would be down in a few minutes to pick me up. I'm in bed now, but before she tucked me in, mom whipped up a great big meal for me. She said she wanted to make sure I was all right. Mom’s the best!
